This is the second post in regards of my psychological quasi-research. This is the first one.
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Ever wondering why some bastards are so easy to get the girls, despite logically speaking, they are not good long term partners? Women, with their initial role of nurture, are evolutionarily wired with their emotional side more dominant. That's why women, in overall, are more skilled at decoding emotion using non-verbal cues including facial expression, tone of voice, and posture. But that also what makes (some) women are easily to be subdued by it. They (some of them, once again) are easily attracted to badboys who can bring them into some "emotional roller-coaster." Badboys, with their carefree nature, adventurous life, good communication skill, and aura of leadership, are surely more attractive than usual, face-in-the-crowd nice guys, despite maybe these nice guys are what constitutes a good last-for-life partners. It is animal magnetism, which of course does not address emotional maturity, love (not lust) and bonding, nor does animal magnetism apply to a woman's process of qualifying a man for character maturity as a potential lasting, committed mate or potential father.
What makes it worse, some nice guys just don't know how to make themselves attractive. They lavish woman they love with gifts, etc, in which it's more likely to be failed (unless the woman has some feeling with the man beforehand). Why?
First, that woman thinks that there is no need to escalate the relationship (no need to be girlfriend, with the risk of breaking up the relationship) to get the facilities.
Second, it's certainly boring, especially for attractive girls with lots of fans around them who do thing that's exactly the same, giving the woman lots of gifts. That treatment will not make this nice guy to stand out and have better chance to make a move.
This leads to a problem of an illusory tragedy of the commons, in which these poor nice guys thinks that relatively valuable women (either for their beauty, intelligence, sexiness, what say you) are difficult to get.
The Handicap Principle.
But, should we live a badboy lifestyle just to be able to get around with girls? No. You just have to mimic their impressions. Badboy is like the alpha-male gorilla. They are dominated by these primitive, masculine, animal instincts. Their robust masculinity is the ultimate attractor for women. In short, they are free men: free to express their opinions, emotions, and identity. They show a strong and leadership quality, even if they're not. Then, you should adopt that style, be communicative, flirty, able to take women down in cocky jerk jokes, hard-headed, decisive, adventurous, and show your high values.
Building a rapport.
Rapport is a term used to describe, in common terms, that two or more people feel in sync, or in short, chemistry. This is very useful to increase your receptivity, especially when you're about to approach a stranger with no prior connection. There are some techniques on the internet where you can learn canned opener, that is a sentence that you can memorize to open up conversation, directly or indirectly. But I prefer a more customized, situational one, but you have to be communicative or used to have a lot of conversations with random strangers. After you open up and have some conversations with her and want to escalate your chat further into a date, you have to look for the indicators of interest, then I assume you know what to do next.
How to Open Up
A lot of people are afraid to approach strangers, but the solution for this is quite simple. You don't need some motivational speeches from Mario Teguh to overcome this anxiety. You just have to approach as many strangers as possible. Feel the fear, go approach anyway, act nervously and stupid, be rejected (maybe), evaluate and learn from your mistake (did I become too creepy?) and become better at tackling your fear and at approaching.
Evolving Yourself
Your differences from badboy, supposed to lie on your genuine quality as a man. That's why aside from your outer characters of a badboy (that only become your clothes), you have to grow in emotional maturity, diplomacy (charisma), courtesy, character (confidence, belief in greater cause, fun and positive mental attitude, caring, etc, etc), and emotional skills of friendship, love, bonding, and mood management. You have to have wide networks and friends (in real life, not Facebook friends) as well.
And in the end, you'll become a man who's having a solid masculinity yet the ability to express friendly emotions that are heartfelt, genuine and real. You will not be boring in the eyes of girls, yet you are indeed suitable to be her long time partner.
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