On Self

There is something about yourself that you don’t know. Something that you will even deny it ever exists, until it’s too late to do anything about it.

It’s the reason you get up in the morning.

The only reason you’re able to stay happy even if you suffer the shitty boss.

The only reason you can stand your blasphemous and loathsome friends, and becoming part of their cults.

The only reason you love your naughty-stingy-bitchy-fussy-sissy-but-not-sexy girlfriend, her blood, her sweat, and her tears.

And even the only reason for you to compete who have more followers or friends on Twitter or Facebook, even if to do so you have to add someone who’s a totally stranger to you and say on Twitter, “Follow me back, please!”

How pity and miserable. What a vanity of vanities that we have.

You want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild, and clever you are. You want people to know how much affiliations that you have.

A need of acknowledgement.

“Fear me, or revere me. But please, think I’m special.”

That’s what we are. We share an addiction: we are approval junkies.
We’re all in it for the slap on the back, a kiss, a perpetual claps, and the gold cup.

Craving for another Halelujah or another “hip-hip-hoo-rah..”
Insatiable fondness of nods and salutes, a match that trigger a conflagration in your heart.


Perpetuating, but destroying yourself at the same time.

We’re just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for approval of others. Sick, pity, and miserable. A cradle of filth, a gang of psychic vampire, a bunch of low-class attention suckers. Those are us.

We’re no better than a tapeworm, maybe.
Whether we realize it or not, we, not only you, but also me, unconsciously do the same. Wired and rooted in the deepest part of our brain.

This out-of-sanity conscientiousness: approval junkies.

How miserable we are.

I still don’t know why I write this. If you wanna curse it, feel free to do it, because I’d do the same.

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When alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine is consumed at the same time at 2:30 in the morning,